Notes

Ew I had sleep paralysis today while I was taking my nap and whew chile. It was even hard to breathe like- I could barely lift my head. I tried to kick my leg but that didn't move either. i was in my parents room bc their bed is more comfortable. and right when I was about to fall asleep, I heard my dad say my name from in the living room, but he wasn't calling out to me, he was having a conversation with my brother. That's when I fell completely asleep- or at least tried to and then it happened and I knew exactly what was going on. "Jesus fucking Christ not this again" it seemed like my whole body was weighed down. imagine you're in a tight space. like a guitar case, but it's perfectly made for your body and the position you're sleeping in. and the tiny little space you have between you and the inside of the case is your only chance of moving. That's what it feels like. i tried my best to lift my head, and I did((or I thought I did, but I'll explain that later)) but like a magnet, it went straight back to my pillow. lasted for a good 50 seconds. i tried talking , but I couldn't move my mouth for the life of me. but then I finally said something, but I yelled it. now, looking back on it, I don't think I said anything at all. I think I just imagined it. again, looking back in it now, when I yelled it, I was laying on my side. so half of my face was sinking into my pillow, like it was forced into there, and my other half was just facing upward. I opened my mouth as big as I could to say a simple word and then (I think) I said it. idfk but I have a feeling that I imagined opening my mouth and saying anything at all. maybe while sleep paralysis was happening, I fell into a dream and that's how my dream started ?? idk. anyway, all over with and you pop up from trying to move for what it feels like hours, it feels weird. like, it feels weird to finally move in whatever position you want. I was very very VERY scared that it wasn't over and that it'll come back for a second wind somehow, but it was completely over. but I'm still scared and my hands are shaking while just typing this.