Notes

The name’s Kyo. I’m simply a fucked up human being.
Born 6/30/2004. In Kansas Ft. Riley
I’m incapable of love, but yet I’m built upon sympathy.
I enjoy manipulating people like the useless puppets they are.
Although I’m not proud of it I admit... I’ve killed and abused many animals, ever since I was atleast 10.
My first kill was an innocent garden snake. I smashed it until it no longer moved.
My second kill was a mouse that got caught in a trap. It didn’t die as soon as it was caught, so I grabbed a gardening hoe and nearly decapitated the small thing.
I killed a bird, and tourtured a pregnant cat. The cat ran away after ging birth to her kittens, I continued to hit, throw, and drop them. In my head I knew it was bad, but I still did it, eventually they ran away to another home, I have one of those kittens today and no, I don’t abuse animals anymore.
I know how fucked up that is, but that all happened in Georgia, the root of my problems started in Colorado.

In Colorado me and my family were broke, we had barely any money. I was self conscious of my clothing and what I wore, I was also the target of bullying for that. In elementary I was easily manipulated, people would tell me to do something and I would do it. No matter how evil or how good a command seemed I’d do it, wether it be bullying an autistic child, or cussing out the teacher, I’d do it. My “friends” only used me, they’d come to my house only to steal and ask for stuff, but I mistaked that for friendship. They liked to experiment on me, what that means is they touched me, hit me, and tricked me to see my reaction. I eventually caught onto what they were doing and decided to stand up for myself, but that resulted in getting beat up by a couple of twins, if I could go back now I’d give them a little more than a kick to the stomach, I think I’d actually attempt to kill one of them if I could. Anyways me and my family moved to Georgia after the fight. I was homeschooled for 6th, 7th grade, in 8th grade I went to middle school. I made friends with a group of kids, they didn’t like me. There was this Girl Allan that asked me out, but my parents split us up, like always. I eventually gave up on trying to make friends or start relationships, but then I began to get sexually harassed and abused by my father, he would touch me inappropriately and I say stop. I threatened to call the police when really I should have called them, it stopped but I still hate my dad, and I make that clear to him everyday. Moving on to the 9th grade, I began to fake the “good student act” I didn’t like my teachers, they were fake, and not honest, I hated almost everyone, why? For existing. I’m in the 9th grade still and my attitude towards people hasn’t changed, I’ll always hate them, but the only exceptions are my real friends, but still, they’re a waste to. It’s the third week of school and I’m already itching for a fight, I’m a athletic kid that trains in martial arts, and boxing, I mask that by wearing over sized clothing and acting weak in PE, so if anyone decides to try and fight me they’ll end up with a few bruises and broken bones, I don’t care about who they are, or what they’ve been through, if they piss me off I’ll have no problem putting them in their place. Although I’m emotionless I tend to stand up for the weak in my school, mostly because I can sympathize with them, for I was once weak, but now I’m one of the strongest people in my grade, but it comes with a price, many people stared seeing me as the bad guy, evil and relentless, but that’s not true, I’m a kind, gentle, and smart person. I just don’t like those that fake, and act nice, and bully people, although I do those things. I don’t know honestly, maybe I just hate myself, but love myself at the same time. I plan to stay this way for the rest if my life, broken, evil, and good. I don’t think there’s hope for me, I’ll never change, I’ll never learn, I’m okay with that. But I guess there’s a possible solution, but I won’t be able to take part of that solution until I reach a certain age. Until then may I continue to wander down this path of evil alone, there’s no God to stop me for he doesn’t exist, and there’s no Devil to posses me for he isn’t real. Only my evil and good voices that live inside my mind hold the power to change and decide who I will become.