Notes

Dear family and son and significant other, not friends I dont have them .
Life goes on days get hard , meals get smaller, time get short, but all of it end at when the days are over. I feel like I can't take it anymore I pray I talk and its just don't work it never work, I might look like the happiest in the world but that's bc I don't show how I'm feeling but when I do show it I'm weak, they look at me like I'm week . People grow , people disappoint and disrespect, disagree, but all of it end when the days are over, the world is not a Genuine place to grow, aprove,to glow ,to move to be free to be YOU, Have you ever had a feeling ever little thing everything wrong because of you , you do wrong in everyone eyes and you can't be nothing you feel like you nothing unless not good at anything, yeah thats me that's how I feel , and maybe just maybe if I someone who really believes in me like you do jayden but you see no wrongs in mommy but everyone hate me so why be her yk , just like you wouldn't wanna be anywhere your not invited to or you don't feel included. And I know your not there responsibility and they didn't create you don't mean they have to treat you like they treat me but I doubt it because they love you well your grandmother and jakayla and juel and maybe dede or doda when they get older , I sorry I have to leave here on this earth I'm so angry I can take you with me but I don't think this world this planet this universe is ready for me they can't take me and I can't do it here ,I wanna escape I wanna be in peace.I always loved you even when yhu first came out me and your grandmother was holding you and I was laughing crying you can out crying the way I said you was going come out crying too I was in all that pain but beauty is pain baby don't thing you going to have anything beautiful without bringing some type of pain,and when you get older whatever you wanna do in life or be imma always be right here supporting you ,following you,loving you as always, only thing I wouldn't tolerate is selling drugs baby that's not going get you no where you want to be im telling you mommy done done it , you wanna do something or be something so you and your loves one can be successful in life you don't have to worry or struggle like I did I and I don't wanna see that pls baby do it for me that's why I left this universe ,when you get your woman be the man not her you be a gentleman! And I'm you going be a good man I'm a Angel in your beautiful eyes every time I'm around I feel so happy and safe but I just can't take life