Notes

so there she was, Sophomore year. I remember her face, her clothes. I was from lunch looking at my schedule to see where my next class was, and as we approached it i noticed this goddess walking in front of my, my eyes scanned her body almost subconsciously, i noticed no skin was showing, most girls were wearing the traditional "first day slut" outfit, the skin tight booty shorts that are so high up you can see their pubes lol, i was so sick of that and when i seen my princess walking a few feet in front of me i couldn't stop staring, no skin is showing, she's not looking for attention but she secretly wants to be noticed. i liked her, without saying a word to her i knew she was different, not your average hoe. i begged the lord for her to be going where i was going, and she did, i walking into Mrs.D's class shortly behind her and sat 4 seats behind, i wanted to sit closer but i couldn't, i can't talk to girls and i wanted to study her first. I remember when the teacher took attendence, her name was first. the teacher said "Alishia?" and she quietly but adorably corrected her "Alecia" as she said her name i quietly whispered it in my own head, "Alecia"...

The class ended and i got up to walk out, we walked in the same direction, really really really wanted to say something, i just stared at the back of her head, watching it sway in her walking motion. we were in the small hallway that .... ironically.... i would ask her out in. i thought to myself, "oh it's just the first day, i'll give it time" i just procrastinating over and over and over. i've done that all my life, im an arrogant, stubborn, asshole who only thinks about how he feels, and anything that happens has to involve me. the next day in the same class, the teacher setup a little ice breaker activity, where we had to work in groups and read different parts of a story? i don't quiet remember, we were assigned in a group, it was me, my goddess, and this bitch named Isabelle. and we got to work. I COULD NOT STOP STARING AT HER. we locked eyes every 4 seconds and would awkwardly look away, i knew that she maybe liked me, from just the way she would smile when she looked at me, i couldn't say a word. but i WANTED to talk to her, i couldn't bring myself to do it, so i had to make a reason for us to talk, i complained that we shouldnt read the story out loud, and instead read it in our heads, isabelle, said i was an idiot. and just like that we started going back and forth, i was actually starting to get annoyed... my brain was occupied on thinking of stuff to say back to her. and in the midst of all this commotion, my baby talked to me, i dont really remember what she said, i don't even remeber her voice when she said it, i just remember seeing her lips move. She asked me a question... we locked eyes, she had a half smile on her face with a slight squint.. everything was moving so slow.. she had a pink color shirt with short sleves and some sort of band in her hair and looked amazing.. i froze .. i couldn't think of what to say back. and that very moment i made the biggest mistake of my life so far.... i ignored her and shrugged.

i regret doing that to this day, i still feel awful.. i was too uncomfortable and shy to talk to her, and SHE talks to ME and i FUCKING IGNORE HER. My poor baby :'( she deserves a man, im just a big pussy... sadly this would be the last time i talked to bae. we never talked after that. for the next 4 months of school... i hate to admit it but, i kinda forgot about her, i was looking at some other girls and continuing my search, i have no clue why i never went back to her, and tried again to talk. i've honestly got no clue :/ but she was always in my mind waaay in the back. but slowly... i forgot about her. she was just sorta "there" in class, i'd sit next to her alot in hopes she'd show interest but she wouldn't look at me anymore. not the way she used to on the first day. i figured a guy like me would never hit it off with such a hot chick like her anyways....... soooo lets jump to March 4th 2015. class week started up again and we were assigned parts in a play, and for the first time in a long time... i stared at her... i noticed her... she had to read the lines in front of the class and although nobody really gave a dam about her part or what was really going on. i was looking at her dead on, listening... chrushing.. that day when i got home, i layed in my bed and was gonna take my usual after school nap, when all of a sudden, she popped in my head, i couldnt get her out, i imagined us talking, going on dates, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, doing everything i wanted to find a goodgirl to do it with. that following shop week i spent it working on making the pefect flower for her. i knew that if there was gonna be ONE thing that i did that year, it would be to ask this girl out. i WILL NOT SPEND ANOTHER SUMMER ALONE, and depressed.i made the flower, and had cunstructed a plan, i would wait after class and give it to her. simple, right?.... it took me months to do it, i would be behind her and would pussy out, i was afraid of rejection, she's too perfect for me. so lets go to june 11th. i woke up and told myself, I.Will.Do.It. at this point i knew i blew it, i knew nothing would come out of this, there was only one week left of school and theres no way i was actaully gonna date her. but i said fuck it, i already made the flower, might as well give it to her, make her day..

so there i was... my heart was beating so fast, she was behind me, i was walking with colby and did a quick side glance to see if she was behind me, and there she was. i took a deep breath and slowed down a little so she would pass me, i unzipped my bag and looked at the flower just sitting there i pulled it out and held it begind my back, i was about a foot away from her, i thought i was close enough for her to hear me but i guess not... i start talking to "her" i say "Alecia i was making flowers and i made this just for you....." but when i looked up she just kept walking, completely unfazed, my freind made a quick remark, and everything went in slow motion again, she was probably gonna turn around but i had a decision to make... did i really want to go through with this? nothing would come out of it, and i dont even know this girl... maybe shes super weird and as she was slowly walking away my brain was split 50/50, i didn't want to get her attention again or really push myslef to talk to her again, for just another "freind", i dont want to be freinds, i want to date. but my other half was thinking of all the promises i made to my self, about doing something this year, and i snapped, i grabbed her shoulder and gave it a slight tug and she turned around i pulled the flower out from behind me and showed it to her and told her of how i made it for her but i guess she doesn't want it. she took it and said it was very pretty, she apologized 30 times, that's how i knew she liked me, she cared of how i felt.i went home that day and felt sooooo happy, i thought about her everysecond, i relived talking to her, and thinking about it now... i cant be any happier in knowing that this wonderful girl is in my life, and i am proud to call her my girlfreind <3
-The end