Notes

Lessons From the Soccer Mom
As a mother of a young, energetic five-year-old son, I came across myself searching for something he could do to utilize up his energetic enthusiasm. Like the majority of parents I turned to sports to see if that might be a good match for my son. I came across that AYSO was holding registration for fall/spring soccer in my own city. I found myself somewhat nervous on the prospect of signing him up. I've seen the stories in the news where some overly fanatical parent gets arrested at a recreation league sporting event for assaulting another parent, referee, coach or child. I worried that my son might end up with a coach who approached the sport with a military drill sergeant enthusiasm, taking the joy right from it for his players. I was also concerned that when so when my son lost games, missed goals, or smudged in some way; it might hurt his self-esteem together with his feelings. Regardless of all the worries, he was excited at the prospect of playing and I was determined not to let my anxieties get in the way of his childhood. We are now in our second season of recreation league soccer and also have found the experience much more than we hoped for. In fact I have found a handful of lessons that I was able to teach my son about not only soccer and team sports but about life generally.

1. Having a great time is what sports are about. Last fall we joined the ranks of a large number of soccer parents. We got up early and filled our son with a nutritious breakfast. We dressed him in his royal blue and black uniform, complete with soccer cleats, shin guards and socks, and headed off for the 9:00 AM game. We found the soccer fields which were teeming with soccer players, coaches, parents, and onlookers. We found our son's field and setup our camping chairs on the sideline. Watching the 4 person team of four and five-year-olds was a great experience. A number of the little players had been kicking soccer balls around given that they could walk while some, like my son, had never seen a soccer ball prior to the first practice a few days earlier. Some were quick with the ball and had excellent reflexes. Others were aggressive towards the other team and some were shy and awkward. We were amazed as parents our son seemed to have good mechanics and scored a couple of goals in that first game. By the end of the twenty minute game, our son came around people smiles and at that time I knew our reaction to that first game was important. I considered all the things I could say to him..."Great game!!", "Good job scoring!", "You won, congratulations!" However, when he came around us I decided finished . I most wished to reinforce was, "You look like you'd so much fun!!!" He smiled enthusiastically and nodded vigorously, agreeing he had indeed had fun. He's got now learned that scoring and winning is fun, more fun actually than losing. He never complains about losing though and always appears to have fun at Saturday games. At half time, he can be observed kicking the soccer ball around while others are sitting on the sidelines After the field has cleared and another players are packing up and leaving, he will stay provided that he is able to kick the ball with anyone who will kick it around with him. He loves the sport for the pure fun of it. He doesn't play to win. He plays for fun. How happy I'm as a mom he has found a talent he loves and has fun with.

2. Treating others with respect and kindness is more important than the game. Inevitably about half way during that first season, my son's team encountered a team that was highly aggressive and was filled up with very good little players. My son's team was outscored badly. Among the players on another team seemed to enjoy his superiority over other players. He'd "talk trash", as they say, calling names and pointing and laughing when his team scored. He would push and even grab jerseys's and pull other players down. After enduring this treatment for the higher part of the game, my son decided he would return the same to his opponent. He began calling the boy names and getting in his face. As the quarter ended I asked the coach if he could pull my son out. Then i sat him by me and asked how it felt to be bullied and teased. He responded that it didn't feel good. I then explained that if at anytime down the road I saw him teasing or bullying back I would ask his coach to pull him out and he wouldn't be permitted to play the rest of the game. We talked about how name calling and teasing takes the fun out of it for everyone. He quickly realized that the fun he finds in soccer isn't worth sacrificing. We've since talked about different techniques for bullying on the field, including walking away or simply saying good job to the bully. Occasionally I still may catch him pushing but overall, his lesson to take care of others with respect was well learned early on.

3. Family support and unity are essential. The next lesson is one for not merely my son but our whole family. Our son comes with an older sister and younger brother. They are his biggest cheerleaders and can sit on the sidelines yelling encouragement to my son and his teammates. Soccer games on Saturday morning certainly are a family affair. Most of us load up and most of us go. Sometimes, I admit, I'd love to send off my little soccer player with his dad while I stayed home with his siblings. But I want my children to know they are supported by a caring family. My other two children, who don't play soccer, get yourself a chance to encourage and show their support while my soccer player feels that his sister and brother look after him and his interests. In check here , when it's time for his sister to execute a piano recital, my soccer player knows that the support he receives from his sister must be reciprocated. Does recreation soccer solve all of the problems between siblings? No, of course not. However, it does offer a chance to teach them to aid each other.

4. A team working together will accomplish multiple great player. This lesson appears to be the hardest for all the soccer players to understand. When this little team first began, the only thing on your brain of the players was to kick the ball in to the net. They would push and kick wildly, no matter whom else was in the huddle kicking with them. We often saw a huddle of only our team players, fighting over the ball. I find myself still having to gently remind my son that it is okay to kick or pass the ball to 1 of his teammates if he is surrounded plus they are open. He still tries to throw the ball in to himself and forgets that he has teammates who is able to help out. However, anytime I see an assist at the goal, I reinforce to him how much easier it had been for him to score with an assist. Anytime I see him struggling with way too many opponents and the ball, I encourage him to pass it to a teammate.

5. It is okay to recognize the strengths in himself and others. Lastly I've found that soccer gives my son the chance to find his own strengths. He finds a small amount of self esteem that he is good at scoring from far away. We ask him what he feels he is best at and what he thinks he can work on. He could be learning through the process that he is proficient at some things and that he can improve in areas if he works at them. We also encourage him to cheer on players on his team for their strengths. We explain when other players are good at ball handling and tell him to tell them. We have him notice once the other team is good at teamwork or defense as soon as again, ask him to let the other players know. He is able to concentrate on good in others and not be as critical of himself as he realizes that many people are proficient at different tasks and skills.

Our recreation soccer experience has been nothing but a great and learning experience for us. As a parent, my influence continues to be stronger than a coach's, other parents or other players. I could help infuse my son with more than simply soccer skills and a desire to win. I could help him to understand lessons about life and getting along with others. As he grows so when long as he continues to play, I am hoping these first lessons on soccer will be the ones he retains. I hope the game is definitely fun and he treats others with respect. I hope he appreciates the support from others and finds in himself strengths he is able to be pleased with and weaknesses he is able to work on.

Nicole Wardell is a mother of four and writes for [http://www.greggsports.com] in her 'spare' time.
Website: https://www.shreesacredsounds.com/how-to-make-social-media-work-for-you-in-your-weight-loss-and-fitness-efforts/