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12 Rules Of Discourse

I can argue well. Ask any of my friends. I am able to win arguments on any topic, against any opponent. People are aware of this and stay clear of me at parties. As a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.



- Dave Barry



People have thousands on thousands of conversations every year, but few people spend the time to reflect on what could be done better. It is not an easy task to master, however, a productive conversations are worth learning. These are 12 tips to dramatically improve the quality of your discourse. Some are specifically designed for arguments, while others are universal.





1. Watch Your Tone

A peaceful, respectful tone has been at the core of every productive conversation I have ever experienced. It is amazing to me how even just a little bit of anger or frustration could ruin a discussion and turn it into a door slam, and then a gentle apology.



My mom would ask my sister Anna to stop playing minecraft in a manner that instantly expressed my mom's hatred for video games, and her displeasure that my sister partook in activities so antithetical to my mom's ideals. needrealtor My mom's request would cause my blood to boil just because she was close enough to hear. She would then come to me in complete confusion asking what the reason was. Anna would reply with a list of reasons why she wanted to be freed from the family. My mom would praise me as a magician, when I would request Anna to do the same things but in a respectful, neutral tone, and Anna would comply (with some resistance - my miracles only get me so far.).


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