Notes

ok so the small group of words with <,> around them are the different titles of what you should be doing to help get over your moms death I left out the useless shit and only included the steps of each section that was helpful
<accepting your feelings>
1
Grieve at your own speed. Don't be too hard on yourself and impose a timeline for getting over your loss. The Victorians took two to four years to mourn a death. While that doesn't have to be you, don't expect to be ready to get back into the swing of things after a few weeks, a month, or however much time you think you need. Instead, be patient with yourself and let go of the expectations you may have for yourself.
Try to keep in mind that grieving is a process. You'll probably be grieving in some way for a long, long time, though hopefully it won't always be this intense. Work through it in your own time.
2
Accept that your parent would want you to keep living. Though it's normal to be depressed, remember that your parent loved you and wouldn't want this event to cripple your life forever. As you work through the loss, try to get back into doing the things you enjoyed before. Of course, this is easier said than done, but it doesn't mean that you should forget about the fact that your parent was happiest when you were happiest. This doesn't mean you have to sweep all of your negative feelings under the rug, but it does mean that you should make an effort to keep enjoying the little things as much as you can.
Of course, if you feel completely devastated by the loss and unable to get back into the swing of things right away, don't let the memory of your parent make you feel guilty about not getting back on your feet.
3
Remember your parent. They will always have been a big part of your life no matter what, even if they have passed away. Write down your memories together because as you go on you probably don't want to forget those moments in your life. You just have to know that they will never leave that place in your heart. Take comfort in the memories you have of that person without obsessing over not remembering every little thing. Just do the best you can.[1]
You can talk to the people who also knew your parent about him or her to keep the memory alive. You can also tell stories about the parent to people who did not know him or her, from time to time.
You can also ask family members questions about your parent to help understand all of his or her life experiences. This can add a new layer to your relationship with your parent, and can make your memory of your parent even more vivid.
4
Take care of yourself. Be a little more gentle on yourself than you usually would. Take extra time to relax, try to find constructive distractions, and shut down any self-criticism for now. Though you may be filled with too much grief to care about your own well-being, it's important to get at least seven to eight hours of sleep, eat three healthy meals a day, and to get at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. It's likely that you'll be in need of energy because of your loss, and keeping your body in order will help you not feel so sluggish.
Of course, sleeping and eating well won't help you forget your parent completely. But it will make it much easier for you to go about your daily life while dealing with your loss.
5
Know your triggers. It's important to be aware of when you'll be the most upset and to know that you'll need extra support. For example, if you lost your father, you may need to spend some extra time with your loved ones on Father's Day; if you lost your mother, then you may get upset during certain activities, like shopping, that you traditionally did with your mother. Knowing what will make you upset will help you prepare to not be alone during those times.[2]
6
Don't get too hung up on the five stages of grief. It's true that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but that doesn't mean that you have to neatly go through each of those stages in order to truly deal with the loss of your parent. You may be angry or depressed first, feel denial later, or bargain after you feel depression, and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone grieves in his or her own way, at his or her own time.[3]
7
Avoid making any big decisions at first. Your parent's death may make you realize that your marriage is a lie, that your career is meaningless, or that you should drop everything and become a pineapple farmer in Hawaii. While all of these realizations may be true, you should avoid doing anything impulsive or acting on them until you feel ready to make a rational decision. Making big changes in your life probably won't help you get over your parent's death any faster, and you may end up doing something that you regret
<get support>
1
Talk to a close friend. Nobody should be alone during a time of grief. When you're dealing with the loss of a parent, you may want to spend all of your time alone, curled up in a little ball. It's okay to have some alone time for a while, but eventually, you should make an effort to see some of your friends. It'll help you to socialize, get outside your own head, and have someone who can help you deal with your feelings. Make an effort to see the friends who care about you instead of shutting them out.
Remember that your friends are likely at a loss too, and they may not know exactly what to do or say. Appreciate the fact that they're trying.
This doesn't mean you should hit up the clubs or go to your best acquaintance's 30th birthday boozy brunch; you don't have to go out in big groups if you're not up for it yet.
2
Talk to a family member. Talking to a family member after the loss of one of your parents can be one of the best ways of finding support. If you've lost one parent but still have another, spend as much time with that parent as you can. Your parent will be grieving, too, and will likely need your support. Though being around other family members may be painful because it will remind you of your loved one, it's far better than being alone with your pain.
Talking about your parent can help you ease the pain, too. You may not be ready to talk about that person, at first, but after a while, talking about him or her will make you feel better.
6
Consider getting a pet. Though you may think this is ridiculous advice, no one is saying that a kitten is going to replace your mother or your father. However, taking care of a pet can make you feel good and needed, and like you're less alone, and can bring you a tremendous amount of joy. If you're feeling very lonely, and especially if you've been talking about getting a cat or a dog for a while, then you should go to your local pet shelter and bring home a puppy or a kitten to take care of.[4]
(I skipped 3-5 because it was things like getting a councilor and join a chat group or whatever tf there called) btw this is the only thing I actually type I care for you but it don't mean ima sit here for 2 hours writing all this shit, so know that I copied and pasted all of this because I care for ya ass :) ps: go fuck a pig...!!!!
<returning to life>
2
Do the things you used to love. Though it's good to mix it up, it's also important to return to your favorite activities if you want to come close to feeling whole again. Whether you loved to paint, write poetry, or work at your local soup kitchen, don't deny yourself your favorite activities just because you think you're too sad to do them. Soon you'll see that you can find some happiness -- even if only a little bit -- in doing your favorite things.
If you don't have the heart to do something you used to do with your parent, such as hiking or running, bring a friend along if you really want to get back into it.
(uh james again I left out the first one cause it was about jobs and were 14 so the most work were doing is the halfass chores we do)
4
Get busy (but not too busy). Try to fill your schedule with as many meaningful activities as possible. Attempt to see a friend at least a few times a week, and to do something social as often as you're feeling up to it. Make sure, also, to leave the house at least twice a day, no matter what. It's also important that you spend time working or being in school, exercising, and doing the things that matter to you. If something fun is coming up, mark it on your calendar, so you have something to look forward to. Having a busy and active life will make you feel better about everything, even if you have to motivate yourself to keep going strong a bit.
This doesn't mean that you should force yourself to be busy 24/7 so you don't have time to sit and think about your parent. Instead, make sure that you do factor in some alone time into your schedule. As long as not all of your time is alone time, it's important to have some time to be alone with your thoughts, even if they aren't happy ones.
(hi james again ffs I have to skip a lot of this but the third one was about avoiding alcohol and you clearly don't use that and ive been adding these gay completely pointless side notes to hopefully get a laugh that ill have no clue if I actually get or not k back to important shit copied and pasted paragraph right here)
5
Spend time on soothing activities. It's important to focus on doing some relaxing things as you go through the process of grieving. This is the time to spoil yourself a little, and to spend time doing things that make you feel better, even if only a little bit better. Here are some things you can do:
Write your thoughts down in a journal. Writing daily can help you get in touch with your thoughts.
Try yoga or mediation. This can help you center your mind and your body.
Spend time out in the sun. Get out of that coffee shop and go read outside instead. A little bit of sunshine and fresh air can go a long way.
Reread your favorite novels. Take comfort in them.
Listen to some soothing music. Nothing too jarring, please.
Go for walks. Get some exercise while getting in touch with your thoughts
6
Be patient with yourself. As you start enjoying your life again, make sure not to overburden yourself. It really can take months or years to even begin to feel like your old self again, and it's important not to rush it. As long as you have goals and are looking toward the future, it's okay to take the smallest baby steps toward your new life without your parent. You should know that while you'll never be able to fully get over your loss, you will be able to develop a new relationship with the parent you lost, in time.
Don't force it. Listen to what your mind and heart is telling you. If you're not ready to make big moves yet, then take your time. This is far better than overexerting yourself and crashing. The important thing is to know that things will get better, even if it takes a long time.
(ok fucking done now this took forever I wanna kill myself now actually were avoiding this nvm anyways this way all the actual important information from the one website that wouldn't load so hope it helps and bye)