hi honey, i'm not sure where you are right now but i just wanted to take the time to write you this summary of this week and everything that has gone on with me. This week I've noticed a massive change, it hasn't been fun exactly with a lot of pressure on me, whether that's exams, or my parents, or everything if i'm being honest. I'm so sorry that i have barely told you any of my problems this week honey but i needed to take all of the pressure off of you this week, after everything that has gone on, after everything that has happened i needed to reduce stress on you and the best way to do that was through this, i'm so sorry. It hurts a lot seeing you go through this change, it hurts a lot more going through it i understand how you feel. Understanding, huh, i don't really understand a lot of things, i can't really relate to most of the things you've been through, you might think that i've got it easy and i might but i don't see it that way. I've actually been pretty good this week, i haven't annoyed you or nagged about having fast replies, i guess I've kind of just adapted to not having that many paragraphs anymore, or not as fast replies or not 100% attention, or sometimes not telling me where you're going and it's kind of sad but true that I've adapted and i'm so sorry if this comes across as a, 'dig', but i promise you that is not my intention, it never is. I've seen the change myself this week, and it hurts, so so much but i know that we will have a better future together because of this. I will always be by your side, You said last Saturday that I can't understand, and i don't understand or can't relate, and it broke me. It broke me not being able to help you and I have been training so hard, mentally and physically over the last week to become a better person. And unlike all of those times I've said that i will change my routines, physically and mentally, this time I've done it. I'm becoming a better person for you, i am trying my hardest to understand everything which you go through. it's tough, everything is adding up. The beg for freedom from everything, talking about me breaking away, making it seem okay if we took breaks, straying away from more time. Justttt remember you will always be my baba, you will always have me by your side and I know a lot of people have told you that they will always be there for you, and that they've broken so many promises, but you need to trust me when i say that I will be in your life until the day I die, i will be by your side until the day i die and even in the afterlife, i will pick you up when you fall, i will set you on the right track, i will help you when no one else won't, i will always be here for you to spill all of your problems to, i will always be here for you even when everybody else in your life isn't, Lilly I am me, you know deep down that I will always be by your side, I can admit, this is the one thing I can admit: I am staying with you and by your side until the day we die and even in the afterlife. You may have never believed in true love or soulmates, or anybody staying in your life, well i guess you'll have to wait until the future and be proved wrong because I. am. staying. Seeing you change hurts me so so much, but as a result we will have a better future, just don't lose interest or forget me across this change okay?