Notes

one day im going to find someone who actually wants me and only wants me. That person is going to love me for me and not want to change me like people in the past have and still want to. I personally dont understand why people want me to change from what I already am. I know people well some people just want whats best but some of them dont understand that it honestly hurts my feelings when someone says they want me to change. They might not directly say it but they impliy it and i realize that yes i do bad tings and i regret some of them and some of them i dont. Im a teenager and i deserve to live a little. I honestly dont know why i keep putting myself in the postion of getting hurt with clayton but i know i can at least act like something might happen for once i mean i would try with someone at my school but i dont know anyone who would actually try to date me or even talk to me. I mean heck caleb said he liked me and then started talking to someone else so i dont know what to do i mean i actually liked him and well you see how that turned out. I honestly dont know what to do anymore i thought i could do this with clayton but all he wants is sex or nudes and thats not what i want. I actually want a real realationship and one that has those cute dates and hugs and kisses and actually wants to hang out with me.