Notes

I knew the whole time that us being friends wasn't going to work. i knew if i friend zoned you, you was going to flip. but i really don't know what you expect me to do anymore. you think i want to put you in the friend zone? i don't. but you and i both know i have to. i want to be with you so bad but i cant stay in a relationship where I'm uncomfortable anymore. the only reason i kept going with it after time and time of telling you was because i love you. yeah i still love you but with all the arguing and hate and negative shit that's been flying around that's the last thing i can think about. i don't understand why you kept convincing yourself that i was okay with it after i kept telling you always. our date was half way perfect. it was perfect for you because you weren't thinking about nothing. i just kept thinking in my head if we get caught she's going to break up with me or even worse shes never going to talk to me again. i didn't want to be left by you. your the best girlfriend I've ever had and i think your the best I'm ever going to have. your so pretty and so nice. and when i look at you and you smile your dimples show really good. you have a really nice personality and great you know what. but you aren't really seriously attracted to girls and i see why you wont tell people. i just noticed that telling people/ not telling people has a problem on both sides. Your not comfortable with people knowing and i'm not comfortable with people not knowing. i think it's pretty messed up tho. its not like I'm asking you to tell people, lemme clear that up. i don't want you to go and be like oh well im dating a girl named tasia noooo thats nothing near to what im saying. if someone see's us together i don't want you to lie. if we get caught i don't want you to lie. I'm not telling you to tell your parents helllllll no then I'll lose my priviliges of coming to your house to spend time with you even. I don't want your parents to find out period. If your people ever become suspicious thats when i would need you to lie.. lie your ass off. i just dont really get why you would have to lie to your other people tho. i don't want Yvette to know. you already know im scared of her. not physically but verbally. i hate being verbally attacked and she looks like she can do some damage. just like i know you can but im not scared of you verbally now physically.. thats a diffrent story but i aint gone get into thatcause i dont want to sound like a punk cause a noodle like you hurts you they attack. but anyway petra im sorry for doing everything. im sorry for asking for your number when i knew i was somewhat attracted to you, doing what i did to you in the stairs when i knew that you werent expecting and didnt want it, im sorry for texting you the whole spring break, kissing you when we came back to school, getting even closer to you, falling for you fully, getting to know you more, letting you know my problems, trusting you, coming to your house, doing all the thing we did together, threating to tell Yvette